That post drummed up several thoughts, if you don’t mind me free-associating for a moment.
And no one is pretending that women do not deal with a particular behavior. The converse is that no one should pretend that the same behavior is NOT a problem for men. That we can appreciate a problem from the female perspective does not mean that it is only a problem for women.
True. And more broadly, men have their own “things” which are drummed into them, or are genetically based (not that it matters), which inhibit their social or business success.
ISTM that this myth of the “Patriarchy” (btw, every time I mention this view the left has of the “Patriarchy”, my husband asks me where he goes to sign up. Facetiously. :-)) like it’s some Harry Potter-like Ministry of Magic which manipulates everyone and everything from the background takes as a core assumption that men just get a degree and from that point on, everything gets handed to them, which is decidedly NOT the case. They have their own problems with their socialization and careers, and many times, regrettably, we’re part of their problems.
I also get that men may not have the same expectations or labor under the exact unfair assumptions but, they do labor and they do struggle — with what other men expect and especially with what women expect.
Claps. Some years back before I was married a male friend of a friend sat with us for coffee. He was about to go off to the Philippines to some sort of planned event for single US men and single Russian women. So, it was “mail order bride” without the mail order part (instead of mail, it was internet.)
It’s important to note that this guy was not some loser. Nice guy, reasonably good looking, good job.
Well, he had a rather well thought out list of reasons why he was seeking marriage this way, and most of them were not flattering to American women, and most of those centered around what he perceived as our need for social status and money.
Some of them I had to admit were good points. :-(
At any rate, depending on who WE are and what our priorities are….. we‘re not always an asset in a relationship. That’s a problem.
If, after a several generations of feminism, we are still acting against our own best interests then I have to consider that feminism has accomplished what it set out to do which, was to educate women. To offer them alternatives to the wife and mother stereotype and to enact equal legal rights.
If educated women are thoughtful enough to understand the psychology of what is happening then we need to figure out how to stop ourselves from indulging it. And we need to take ownership of our bad behavior and quit blaming someone else if and/or when we do.
Agreed. All the tools to attain equal outcomes are now in place. The complaint now seems to be that we still don’t have equal outcomes. And we clearly don’t want to look inward for the reasons why.